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Archive for August, 2009

Assumptions Are Worse Than Reality

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009
are three ways of knowing about something or someone: what we know, what we don’t know, and what we think we know…….and it’s usually what we think we know that gets us in trouble. When we assume things, we gamble; the bigger the assumption, the bigger the risk.
In any endeavor based on assumptions we can absolutely count on some of them giving way, like support timbers under a house collapsing. Some assumptions may hold for a long time, some almost forever, but most will collapse at a bad time and cause damage. When we make decisions based on facts and when we acknowledge all that we don’t know, the long term outcomes are better.
Practical Tip: When analyzing a situation write down what you know, what youdon’t know, and what you assume. Naming assumptions is key. Want to play it safe? Don’t make assumptions. How? Catch yourself making assumptions.
There are three ways of knowing about something or someone: what we know, what we don’t know, and what we think we know…….and it’s usually what we think we know that gets us in trouble. When we assume things, we gamble; the bigger the assumption, the bigger the risk.

In any endeavor based on assumptions we can absolutely count on some of them giving way, like support timbers under a house collapsing. Some assumptions may hold for a long time, some almost forever, but most will collapse at a bad time and cause damage. When we make decisions based on facts and when we acknowledge all that we don’t know, the long term outcomes are better.

Practical Tip: When analyzing a situation write down what you know, what you don’t know, and what you assume. Naming assumptions is key. Want to play it safe? Don’t make assumptions. How? Catch yourself making assumptions.

Posted in Communication, Decision Making, Problem Solving, Thoughts to Ponder | No Comments »

I don’t know

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009
most of us want to appear knowledgeable. We want to provide an answer to every question. We want to impress our fellow group members. In reality, saying “I don’t know” is often more helpful for good group decisions. When we think we know things it can close our mind to new, more accurate knowledge. When we convey what we think we know to others, it can lead them astray and provide a false sense of security.
When groups work with presumed knowledge rather than actual knowledge, it can be a huge waste of time. Worse, decisions based on false presumptions rarely hold up over time and usually bring costly consequences. When we say “I don’t know,” it inspires us all to learn; to get the facts; to ponder until clarity emerges.
Practical Tip: Adopt a posture of “I don’t know,” and say “I don’t know” until you really do know. Resist the temptation to impress; rather, answer to the higher callings of honesty, integrity, and humility.

Most of us want to appear knowledgeable. We want to provide an answer to every question. We want to impress our fellow group members. In reality, saying “I don’t know” is often more helpful for good group decisions. When we think we know things it can close our mind to new, more accurate knowledge. When we convey what we think we know to others, it can lead them astray and provide a false sense of security.

When groups work with presumed knowledge rather than actual knowledge, it can be a huge waste of time. Worse, decisions based on false presumptions rarely hold up over time and usually bring costly consequences. When we say “I don’t know,” it inspires us all to learn; to get the facts; to ponder until clarity emerges.

Practical Tip: Adopt a posture of “I don’t know,” and say “I don’t know” until you really do know. Resist the temptation to impress; rather, answer to the higher callings of honesty, integrity, and humility.

Posted in Communication | 2 Comments »

Demonstrate Listening

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009
peace comes through shared understanding, and shared understanding comes through listening. If you hear things incorrectly, or not at all, you’re likely to proceed on false assumptions which are likely to give way later and cause conflict. The best way to ensure good listening is to demonstrate it.
Practical Tip: Are you listening? Prove it. After you have heard someone say something, demonstrate to them that you heard them and understood what they said. Saying “I understand” is not a demonstration. 1. As you listen, show that you are paying attention with silent expressions and perhaps an encouraging word or two. 2. After hearing, reflect back what you heard. Ideally, repeat the main points, use a mix of the actual words that they used and some of your own words, and try to name their feelings. Like, “My, that must have made you feel ________.” Let them judge if you got it right. And if you missed, no problem; try different words and talk it through until you “get it,” and they agree that you get it.
The ultimate demonstration: act in ways that prove that you listened and understood.

Peace comes through shared understanding, and shared understanding comes through listening. If you hear things incorrectly, or not at all, you’re likely to proceed on false assumptions which are likely to give way later and cause conflict. The best way to ensure good listening is to demonstrate it.

Practical Tip: Are you listening? Prove it. After you have heard someone say something, demonstrate to them that you heard them and understood what they said. Saying “I understand” is not a demonstration. 1. As you listen, show that you are paying attention with silent expressions and perhaps an encouraging word or two. 2. After hearing, reflect back what you heard. Ideally, repeat the main points, use a mix of the actual words that they used and some of your own words, and try to name their feelings. Like, “My, that must have made you feel ________.” Let them judge if you got it right. And if you missed, no problem; try different words and talk it through until you “get it,” and they agree that you get it.

The ultimate demonstration: act in ways that prove that you listened and understood.

Posted in Communication, Concentration | 4 Comments »